Hello.

I write letters to those I feel deserve them.

Month: April, 2013

201st Post

Dear 201st Post,

You’re slightly less disappointing than your predecessor.

Love,

Paul

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200th post

Dear 200th Post,

What’s the point?

Love,

Paul

Puberty

Dear Puberty,

I used to be such a cute kid before you came along. Now I’m just an awkward male in his twenties without any game. Again, thanks.

Love,

Paul

 

Toby

Dear Toby,

You have a terrible name.

Love,

Paul

ESPN

Dear ESPN,

You should take a page from your Canadian anchors and stop sucking.

Love,

Paul

Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

The only way anyone is paying to see another Fast and The Furious movie
is if you put Wario or Yoshi in it. Trust me, I’m the audience.

Love,

Paul

Shitty Ex Girlfired

Dear Shitty Ex-Girlfriend,

Stop running into me wherever I go.

Love,

Paul

MPAA

Dear MPAA,

How the hell did Spaceballs get a PG rating?

Love,

Paul

Wind

Dear Wind,

Knock it off! I’m trying to sleep.

Love,

Paul

Mel Brooks

Dear Mel Brooks,

We need you now more than ever.

Love,

Paul